YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
