lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
