Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
