Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize