this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
