i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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