Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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