I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
