i don't like sucking hair
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
