I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Randomize
