guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
