why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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