No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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