He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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