we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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