The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
