i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
you never un-have a 4some
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
