when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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