what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
