I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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