Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
