lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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