just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
