Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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