She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
