This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Found the puke drawer
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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