wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
