I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
