Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
