her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just want to make out with him forever
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
