my room smells like sperm. sweet.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
