You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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