I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
