My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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