I wanna passion pit in your ass
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Houston, we have a blender
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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