I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
