Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
