I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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