i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
