Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
vagina is talking i cant
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
