I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
be right there i have to get my cape
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
