You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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