Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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