i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Panties = found
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
