i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
