The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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