They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
