so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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