No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
