Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
