The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
