White coat. Heels.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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