i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
