It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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