i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
