Please, let me fuck your mom
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
