Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
