We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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